Words by Maya Angelou - her speech, Focus on Yourself / Stop Wasting Time
My dears, time is a master sculptor. It molds our lives without ever asking permission. And yet so many of us hand our time over to things that do not feed our souls, to people who do not speak life into us, and to worries that cannot change one bit of our tomorrow. We give it away and then cry because we feel empty. Hear me when I say this, focus on yourself and stop wasting time. Time is sacred currency. It is the most generous yet the most unforgiving gift we will ever receive. It comes wrapped in seconds, tied together by minutes and laid gently at our feet each morning with the promise of new beginnings.
But oh, how quickly it flees when we are careless with its worth. You see, time does not beg for attention. It does not knock twice. It does not pause for your hesitation, nor does it wait for your fears to settle. It moves forward, onward, steadily like a river that never forgets its direction. And we must choose whether to ride its current or drown in its refusal to stand still.
There are so many beautiful souls, strong souls, brilliant souls who wake up each day and pour their energy into empty wells. They give and give and give until their wells are dry, their backs are bent, and their hearts are weary, all in the name of being enough for others, all in the name of not being alone, all in the name of chasing acceptance. But I am here to tell you not every invitation deserves your RSVP. Not every cry deserves your answer. Not every argument deserves your voice. And certainly not every relationship deserves your time.
There comes a season in every soul’s journey when we must learn the delicate but powerful art of saying ‘no’, not with bitterness but with wisdom, not with shame but with clarity, not because we do not love, but because we have learned to love ourselves to protect our peace.
Time is energy. And energy is life. So be mindful of where your life is going. Every moment you hand to someone who drains you is a moment taken from something or someone who might fill you. Every hour spent trying to prove your worth to someone unwilling to see it is an hour stolen from your calling, your joy, your divine assignment. Don’t be so available to the world that you become unavailable to yourself. Don’t answer every knock on your door, every call on your phone, every pull on your spirit. The world will always ask for more. But you, my darlings, must know your limits. You must know when to retreat to refill, to restore.
I have seen women give their best years to men who never cherished them. I have seen men waste their strength trying to earn respect from people who only wanted to compete. I have seen dreamers bury their gifts because the voices around them were louder than the voice within. But let me tell you this: The clock is still ticking, and life is still waiting.
There is a garden inside of you. But it cannot bloom if it is trampled daily by distractions, by guilt, by misplaced loyalties. You must learn to guard that garden, to prune what no longer serves you, to water what brings you peace, and to pull out weeds before they strangle your spirit.
I am not asking you to be selfish. I am asking you to be sacred and to treat your life like the treasure it is. To recognize that your time is not something to be tossed out like scraps but something to be invested like gold. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot light another’s way if your own flame has gone cold. Take time to be still to breath, and to listen to the quiet whisper of your soul. Because in that stillness god speaks. And when god speaks clarity follows.
There is nothing noble about burnout. There is no crown for martyrdom when it comes to personal neglect. The world may clap for your exhaustion but heaven waits for your rest. Your worth is not in how much you do for others. It is in how deeply you honor yourself. So be slow to hand over your hours. Be cautious with your calendar. Protect your mornings like you would protect your child. Guard your peace like you would guard your last breath. And when something or someone continually pulls you away from your center do not hesitate to step away.
Let me tell you, my dear, there is freedom in boundaries. There is healing in solitude. There is power in being deliberate. And there is beauty in knowing that you too are worthy of your own time. Do not be afraid to walk away from noise. Do not be afraid to say ‘not today’. Do not be afraid to go unseen for awhile if it means becoming who you were truly meant to be, because the ones who change the world, the ones who leave legacies that echo through generations are not always the loudest. Sometimes they are the ones who know how to be still, who know how to listen, who know how to wait on god’s timing, not man’s applause.
You are not behind. You are not late. You are exactly where you need to be to begin again. So take back your time, reclaim your energy. Cancel the meetings that steal your joy. Turn off the voices that confuse your vision. And above all remember your life is not a rehearsal. This moment right now is your stage. This breath right now is your cue. Walk into your purpose like the 2.
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royalty you are. Move with grace. Speak with power. And never again apologize for choosing yourself because when you focus on your time, your energy, your divine path .. oh, how the heavens rejoice, how the ancestors smile, how the chains break and how the world begins to shift in your favor.
Stop wasting time, start living it. In the quiet spaces of your heart there is a truth that you must come to know. You were divinely made. Each strand of your being, every cell that dances within you was crafted by a creator whose love is endless. You are not an accident nor are you the result of mere chance. You are a living testament to purpose, to vision, and to divine craftsmanship. Too often we look at ourselves through the lens of the world’s standards. We compare, we judge, we believe that who we are is not enough because it doesn’t measure up to someone else’s definition of beauty, success, or worth. We allow the voices of others to drown out the quiet, powerful voice within us that speaks of who we truly are. And in doing so we forget that our very existence is a masterpiece of creation. My dear, hear me when I say this: your identity is not determined by the labels that others place on you. It is not defined by the pain you’ve endured, the mistakes you’ve made, or the challenges that have come to test you. Your identity is rooted deep in the soil of your soul, nourished by the very hands of god, and it is this identity that holds the key to everything you are meant to become.
There are moments in life when you will be tested, when the winds of doubt will howl around you, and the storms of confusion will rise up seeking to strip you of your sense of self. But it is in those very moments that you must hold on to the truth of who you are. You must stand firm in the knowledge that you are a child of god uniquely created for a purpose far greater than the world could ever understand. Your worth is not a reflection of your appearance, nor is it measured by your bank account or your social status. It is rooted in the divine spark that was placed within you when you took your first breath. It is woven into the very fabric of your being. And no external force can ever strip you of that worth unless you allow it.
To embrace your divine identity is to recognize the sacredness of your existence. It is to honor the person you are, not as someone who needs to be fixed, but as someone who is whole, powerful, and already equipped for greatness. You do not need to become someone else. You do not need to seek approval from others. You are already enough. And everything you need to fulfill your purpose is already within you. When you step into the fullness of who you are the world will begin to see you differently. No longer will you shrink away from the spotlight of your own life. No longer will you apologize for your brilliance. You will stand tall in the knowledge that your light is meant to shine, and no one, no matter how hard they try can ever take that light from you. Understand this, you were not created to be a background character. You are the main character in your story. You are the hero of your journey, the dreamer of your dreams, the architect of your future. The world may try to tell you that your dreams are too big, that you are too loud, that your vision is too bold. But I say to you let the world talk. Let them doubt you. Let them try to hold you back, because the creator who made you did not make mistakes. He made you perfect for the calling you were chosen for. Do not waste another moment chasing someone else’s version of success. Do not spend your days trying to live up to a standard that was never meant for you. Your success, your fulfillment, your joy, they are defined by you, by the person you are at your core, by the dreams that stir in your heart, and the passion that flows through your veins.
If you have ever felt lost, if you have ever wondered who you truly are, know this: the answer lies deep within you. It is not out there in the applause of others or the approval of society. It is in the quiet spaces, in the moments of reflection when you are alone with your thoughts. It is in the whispers of your heart, the pull of your soul towards something greater. To embrace your divine identity means to step away from the noise and listen to the voice that says, ‘You are worthy. You are love. You are capable of greatness.’ It means to stop apologizing for your presence, for your talent, for your dreams. It means standing tall with your head held high knowing that you are a living reflection of divine love and purpose.
There will be people who try to make you feel small, who try to dim your light because it threatens their own. But know this: their fear is not your burden to carry. Their insecurities do not define you. You are not here to appease anyone. You are here to be your fullest self, to walk in your truth, to live out the destiny that was written for you long before you took your first step on this earth.
When you embrace your divine identity you stop seeking validation from the outside world. You stop measuring your worth against the fleeting opinions of others, you stop chasing after the approval of those who will never understand your journey. And in that freedom you begin to live in alignment with the truth of who you are, not who the world says you should be. You are a child of god. Your worth is immeasurable. Your purpose is eternal. And no matter what life may throw your way, no matter the storms or the trials, your divine identity will never change. It is unshakable. It is immutable. It is the foundation upon which your greatness is built. So stand tall, my dear. Embrace the fullness of who you are. Walk with confidence knowing that the
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divine spark within you is meant to illuminate the world. You are a masterpiece. You are a work of art, and the world is waiting for you to show up as the powerful, beautiful, and unstoppable force that you were born to be. In the quiet of your heart, hear these words, ‘you are enough. You have always been enough. And you will always be enough.’
There comes a time, my dear, when you must learn to stand on your own, when you must stop seeking the approval of those whose eyes do not see your worth, whose hearts do not know the depth of your soul. External validation, the need for others to affirm your existence, to give meaning to your days, to tell you that you are enough is like chasing the wind. It is fleeting, unreliable, and in the end it leaves you empty.
For too long many of us have believed that our worth is measured by the eyes of others. We look to them for approval, for praise, for signs that we are deserving of love, success, or happiness. And in that pursuit we lose ourselves. We forget that our value is not in how we are seen by others, but in how we see ourselves and how we stand in the quiet knowing that we are enough just as we are.
Understand this: you were not born to please the world. You were born to live your truth, to walk your path, to be a reflection of the creator’s vision for your life. And there will be many, many voices along the way that will try to pull you in different directions telling you what to do, how to act, how to be. But you must learn to silence those voices when they do not align with the truth of your spirit. We all seek connection. We all desire love and acceptance. That is the nature of our being. But we must first learn to accept ourselves, to love ourselves before we can receive the love and acceptance we so deeply crave. And I will tell you, my dear, there is a great and powerful freedom that comes when you no longer wait for others to define your worth. When you seek external validation, you are placing your happiness and your peace in the hands of others. You are handing over the keys to your joy, to your sense of self and hoping that someone else will use them wisely. But there will always be someone, whether they mean to or not, who will use those keys to lock you away, to diminish your life, to make you feel less than what you are. You must stop giving people that power. You must stop living for the applause of others for their applause if not meant to define you. It is a fleeting sound, a momentary echo that will never fill the deep well of your soul. It will not heal your wounds. It will not validate your purpose. And it will not bring you the peace you seek.
You must find validation within yourself. You must look into your own eyes and see the beauty, the strength, the wisdom that lies there. You must listen to the voice within that whispers ‘you are enough.’ When you come to understand that your worth is inherent, that it cannot be measured by what others think of you, then you will experience a freedom like no other. You will be free to live as you were meant to live. When you no longer seek the validation from others you will stop shrinking to fit into spaces that were never meant for you. You will no longer hide your brilliance in the shadows of someone else’s expectations. You will no longer dim your light to make others feel comfortable. Instead you will let your light shine fierce and bright knowing that it is meant for the world and it is meant for you.
There is power in knowing who you are, in standing firm in your truth, and in letting go of the need to be approved of by those who cannot see you. It is not that you turn away from the love of others. It is that you come to realize that their love is a gift not a requirement for your existence. Your value is not dependent upon anyone else’s recognition of you. It is rooted in the very essence of your being. Do not wait for others to affirm your worth for they may not see the fullness of who you are. They may never recognize the depth of your soul or the greatness that lies within you. But that is not for you to concern yourself with. You must keep moving forward knowing that the right people will see you for who you truly are and they will love you not for your perfection but for your authenticity.
For years I lived for the approval of others. I sought to please, to be liked and be seen as good and worthy in the eyes of the world. And while it brought fleeting moments of comfort it never brought me peace. It wasn’t until I learned to release the need for external validation that I began to find true freedom. I began to understand that I am worthy not because of anything I do but simply because I exist. I am enough because god made me enough. And that same truth belongs to you, my dear.
When you release the need for validation you become a force of nature. You stop asking for permission to exist. You stop apologizing for taking up space. You stop waiting for the world to recognize your worth because you already know it. And when you know your worth you can walk through this life with your head held high, unshaken by the opinions of others. Understand that the opinions of others are not facts, they are just reflections of their own limitations, fears, and insecurities. When people try to define you, when they try to tell you who you are it says more about them than it does about you. It speaks to their inability to see your worth, their inability to understand your purpose, and their refusal to honor the unique life that you carry.
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You are not here to meet their expectations. You are here to fulfill your own destiny. You are here to live your truth, to honor your soul, to step boldly into the life that was created for you. And you can only do that when you release the weight of external validation. When you no longer wait for someone else’s approval you give yourself permission to be who you truly are without apology or shame. So let go, my dear. Let go of the need for approval. Let go of the voices that tell you that you care not enough. Let go of the fear that you will not be loved if you do not conform, for you are loved already. You have always been loved. And you always will be. In that love, in that freedom you will find your peace, your joy, and your true power. You will find the courage to stand tall, to speak your truth, and to live the life that is meant for you. You will find your voice, your life, and your strength, not because someone else gave them to you but because you have always had them within you.
There is a rhythm to life, my dear, a steady beat that moves us, that guides us even when we cannot see where we are headed. And yet, in the chaos of our days, in the rush of our ambitions, in the noise of our fears, we often forget this rhythm exists. We forget that life is not just a straight line. It is a dance, a series of steps both planned and unplanned that lead us to places we cannot always predict but where we are meant to go nonetheless.
You must trust this rhythm. You must trust the process of your journey. Many of us want to skip ahead to reach the destination without the work of the journey. We want the reward without the struggle, the success without the sacrifice. But the truth is there is no shortcut to growth. There is no magic pill that will bring you wisdom, no secret that will give you strength without first enduring hardship. Life as much as we try to tame it moves as its own pace. And you my dear, must learn to trust its pace. It is in the moments of struggle, in the times when it feels like the world is against you that you are being shaped. The pain, the disappointment, the failures … they are not punishment, but teachers. They are the tools by which you are molded, refined, and made stronger.
Every hardship you endure is preparing you for something greater. Every time you fall and rise again you are being made into the person you are meant to become. I know that it can be hard to see this when you are in the midst of difficulty. When the road is long and the end seems far away it is easy to question the process, to wonder why things are not happening the way you envisioned. But I tell you this, nothing in life happens by accident. Every setback, every trial, every delay is part of a divine plan, a greater purpose that you cannot fully understand. It is not for you to know the entirety of the journey. It is for you to trust that it is unfolding exactly as it should. You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be. The challenges you face, the moments of doubt and uncertainty, they are all necessary parts of your evolution.
Life is not meant to be a straight path from point A to point B. It is a winding road filled with detours, forks in the road, and moments where the way seems unclear. But it is these very moments that your character is built, that your resilience is tested, that your faith is deepened. There are moments when you will feel discouraged, when the weight of the world will seem too heavy to bear. And in those moments you must remember that growth does not happen overnight. It happens in the quiet persistence, in the steady steps taken when you feel like giving up. You’ve got to realize you are growing in ways you cannot yet see, becoming the person you need to be to fulfill the purpose that has been set before you. Trust that process. Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be even if you cannot yet see the full picture.
We often think of success as a final destination, as a place we arrive at after a long, hard climb. But in truth success is not a place, it is a journey. It is in the moments of small victories, in the quiet strength of moving forward even when the odds are stacked against you. Success is the courage to get up every day and continue moving even when the road feels long and the progress seems slow. You are successful the moment you choose to trust the process.
To trust the process of your life, you must understand my dear, that there is beauty in the waiting. There is beauty in the uncertainty. Life is not meant to be rushed. It is meant to be experienced, savored, and learned from. The things you are learning today will carry you tomorrow. The struggles you face today will give you the strength you need for the challenges ahead. You are being prepared for what is to come and though it may not always be clear there’s wisdom in trusting that preparation.
Too often we allow fear to cloud our vision. We fear the unknown, the uncertainty of the future. But I tell you this fear is not your enemy. Fear is simply a signal, a signpost pointing you towards something you must face, something you must learn. Fear
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is not meant to stop you. It is meant to propel you forward, to challenge you to grow beyond your comfort levels, to trust that even when the path ahead is uncertain you are equipped for the journey. You are stronger than you think. Remember my dear, that every step you take no matter how small, is progress. You are not failing, you are learning. You are not stagnant, you are evolving. Life will not always unfold according to your plans, and it will not always go the way you envisioned. But that’s the beauty of it. The universe is far greater than your limited understanding of it. The divine rhythm that moves all things is leading you towards something more than you can imagine. You must have faith in the process even when it feels like the world is moving too slowly or when the answers you seek seem out of reach. You must have faith that what is meant for you will not pass you by. Trust that your journey is unfolding with divine precision even when you cannot see the next step. Every moment you spend learning, every challenge you face is leading you toward the life that is waiting for you.
You must also have faith in yourself. Trust that you have been equipped with everything you need to navigate the road ahead. You have within you a wellspring of strength, wisdom, and resilience. The strength you seek is already within you. The wisdom you need is already embedded in your soul. Trust that you are capable of overcoming every obstacle that comes your way because you have already been prepared for this journey. So when the road gets tough, when the days feel long, when the progress seems slow, remember, trust the process.
Trust that the timing of your life is perfect. Trust that everything is an opportunity for growth, every setback an invitation to rise higher. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be. And above all remember that the journey is just as important as the destination for it is in the journey that you find how to trust yourself, your strength and your purpose. And when you finally arrive at your destination you will realize that it was not the end that mattered most, but the person you became along the way.
In this life, my dear, there are two things we must learn to embrace fully: patience and self-compassion. These two are not mere qualities that we aspire to. They are the very cornerstones upon which the foundation of a peaceful, fulfilled existence is built. And yet they are often the hardest lessons for us to learn.
We live in a world that is obsessed with speed, with instant gratification, with the quick fixes that promise immediate results. But I will tell you, the most valuable things in life are those that take time. Patience is not a sign of weakness but of wisdom, and self-compassion is not indulgence but the most powerful form of self-love. You see, life has a way of moving us along at a pace that is sometimes slow and deliberate. We often resist this pace. We long for things to happen more quickly, for the answers to come sooner, for the results to materialize overnight. But there is a rhythm to life that cannot be rushed. The flowers bloom in their own time. The seasons change in their own time. And your journey will unfold in its own time.
When you rush through life trying to make things happen before their time you miss the beauty of the journey. You miss the lessons that come in the pauses, in the quiet moments of reflection, in the slow unfolding of your purpose. I know that there are times when you feel frustrated, when you wonder why things are taking so long, when you question if the struggle is worth it. And in those moments it is easy to become discouraged, to lose faith in the process, to forget that everything has its season.
But my dear, patience is the key to seeing the beauty in every moment. It is the quiet strength that allows you to weather the storms of life without losing your center. It is the understanding that life will not always go as you planned. But that doesn’t mean you are lost. Life is unfolding as it should and your journey will take the twists and turns that it needs to. You are not falling behind. You are not failing. You are simply moving through the stages of your life in the time that is right for you.
We must learn to trust that as we wait we are being prepared for something greater than we can see. We are being shaped and refined by the challenges we face, by the setbacks that seem to hold us back. In the waiting we learn to grow. It is the patience that allows us to develop the strength we need to carry the blessings we seek. If we rush through life we miss the opportunity to grow into the person who can truly handle the abundance we desire. But patience, my dear, is not about passively waiting for life to happen to you. It is not about sitting idly by and allowing time to pass without effort. Patience is active. It is the ability to continue moving forward even when you cannot see the finish line, to keep working, to keep striving, even when the results are not immediate. It is about continuing to take one step after the other knowing that each step is bringing you closer to your destination even if that destination is not yet clear. And in those moments when it feels like you are taking two steps forward and three step back, when you feel like you are doing all the right things and still not getting where you want to go, you must remind yourself of this truth, you are exactly where you need to be.
The world does not operate on your time table, and neither does your growth. There are seasons in your life, some of abundance, some of struggle, and some of waiting. But each season has a purpose. Each season is preparing you for the next.
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Let us not forget that patience also requires self-compassion. We are often our own harshest critic, my dear. We are quick to judge ourselves for not being further along, for not achieving our goals as quickly as we want. We look at others and wonder why their lives seem to be moving faster than ours, why their dreams are being realized while we are still waiting for ours to come true. But we must remember this: your journey is uniquely your own. Just as the flowers bloom in their own time, so too does your life unfold in its own perfect rhythm. There is no need to compare yourself to others. Self-compassion is about embracing yourself with kindness even when you are struggling. It is about recognizing that you too are worthy of love and care, especially when things are not going as you hoped. It is about treating yourself with the same gentleness that you would offer to a friend in need.
Too often we are quick to extend compassion to others and neglect to offer it to ourselves. But we cannot give to others what we do not have. We cannot be there for others if we are not first there for ourselves. In moments of frustration, when you feel that your dreams are slipping away, or that the work you have put in is not yielding results, it is essential to practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can and that is enough.
The world will tell you that you are not doing enough, that you must work harder, faster, better. But I tell you, you are enough. You are more than enough just as you are. You are worthy of love, of rest, of peace.
Self-compassion is about letting go of the harsh judgments you place upon yourself. It is about understanding that mistakes are not failures but opportunities to learn. It is about forgiving yourself for not being perfect, for not having all the answers, for not having it all figured out. Life is not a race and there is no prize for being the fastest. There is only the beauty of the journey and the strength that comes from walking it with grace.
When you embrace patience and self-compassion, you free yourself from the constant pressure to achieve, to perform, to prove your worth. You allow yourself to simply be, to trust that in your own time your efforts will bear fruit. You learn to trust yourself, to trust that you are enough, that your journey is valid and that you are worthy of the time it takes to grow.
So when the days feel long, when the progress seems slow, when the road ahead is uncertain, remember this: be patient with yourself.
Trust that you are exactly where you need to be. Trust that everything is unfolding in its own time. And trust that you are deserving of the grace and love that comes with this journey. And as you learn to embrace patience and self-compassion you will find that the weight of the world is lighter. You will move through your days with a sense of peace knowing that you are enough, that you are worthy and that in your own time you will arrive at the place you are meant to be. Trust the process my dear and above all, be kind to yourself.
David Whyte - The Boundaries of Self
Johann Hari
Dan Siegel
Jack Kornfield and Dan Siegel in conversation on June 6, 2017 in LA about Jack's book 'No Time Like the Present'
Jack Kornfield in conversation with Dan Siegel from Ted Habte-Gabr on Vimeo.
HOW OUR RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE US - a lecture by Dr. Dan Siegel
"What Is A Healthy Mind?" SCIENCE AND NON-DUALITY podcast by Daniel Siegel
* The Joyful Heart Foundation
www.thejoyfulheartfoundation.org
* JACK KORNFIELD
www.jackkornfield.com
* SEATTLE INSIGHT MEDITATION SOCIETY
www.SeattleInsight.org
* THICH NHAT HANH
www.plumvillage.org
* THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE
www.gottman.com
* CENTER FOR NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION
www.cnvc.org
* BREITENBUSH HOTSPRINGS
www.breitenbush.com
* THE HATHA YOGA CENTER
www.HathaYogaCenter.com
* Tourette Association of America
www.tourette.org
* An organization dedicated to raising public awareness and action to end domestic violence and sexual assault in the United States.
Nomore.org/psas/
* Peter Levine & Thomas Huebl speaking at SCIENCE & NONDUALITY 2018 Conference about Healing Trauma and Spiritual Growth
by Susan Cain
* How To Be An Adult in Relationships - book by David Richo
* Blink - book by Malcolm Gladwell
* Mating in Captivity - book by Esther Perel
Coming to terms with the paradoxical union of domesticity and desire
* The State of Affairs - book by Esther Perel
* Silence - The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise - book by Thich Nhat Hanh
* Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change - book by Pema Chodron
* Think on These Things - book by Krishnamurti
* The Wise Heart - book by Jack Kornfield
* Life Ahead - book by Krishnamurti
* The Mindful Brain - book by Dan Siegel
* When Things Fall Apart - book by Pema Chodron
* Anger - book by Thich Nhat Hanh
* Power - book by Thich Nhat Hanh
* Full Catastrophe Living - book by Jon Kabat-Zinn
* Molecules of Emotion - book by Candace Pert
* Schizoid Phenomenon, Object Relations and the Self - book by Harry Guntrip
* The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant - book by Margaret Mahler,
Fred Pine, and Anni Bergman
* Oneness and Separateness - book by Louise J. Kaplan
* all writings on Narcissism by Alice Miller
* Waking the Tiger - book by Peter Levine
* The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - book by John Gottman and Nan Silver
* Lion's Roar - quarterly publications